Career backup offensive lineman declares for NFL draft with hilarious post

The most important part of any job interview is confidence. Most recruiters would agree that, even if you are not qualified for a job, confidence in the face of a potential employer will up your chances immensely. Well, an offensive lineman at Davidson College is putting that theory to the test with one of the biggest employers of them all, the National Football League.

Barclay Briggs, a senior economics student and three-time PFL Academic Honor Roll member, did not see much playing time as a career backup offensive lineman at Davidson College until his junior season. He clearly states in the tweet below that he ‘only played during blowouts or when starters got injured.’ That said, he played in every game this past season, a season where Davidson went a very respectable 7-4.

Briggs told USA Today, ‘In that post, I made it seem like I never smelled the field, but guys got injured in a way such that I wound up starting a bunch of games this season. I got a few hundred snaps on offense.’

Does Briggs have a shot at being drafted to the NFL?

Not a chance and Briggs, above all else, is very self-aware.

When asked what he would do if an NFL GM approached him about trying out for a spot on a roster, Briggs said, ‘I would definitely talk to them, but any GM that gives me much of a look needs to be fired and blackballed from professional sports. That would be a very desperate time for that franchise. That’s like saying Bill Gates is looking to adopt me as his heir. I’d say those are about equally as likely.’

Heaven forbid the NFL route does not work for Briggs, he thankfully has his bases covered. Briggs told USA Today, ‘I have already accepted a job offer with a commodities trading firm in Houston.’ Houston is Briggs’s hometown. He continued, ‘I interned with them this past summer and really enjoyed my time, so I accepted a return offer to work full-time.’

So what was the point of Briggs’s post?

If it was not clear enough when he gave thanks to Oprah Winfrey and Winston Churchill, his announcement is a joke. The only thing he’s really announcing is his departure from football and his love for the sport as well as Davidson Athletics.

Regarding the football culture at Davidson, Briggs said, ‘It’s an unbelievable environment that [head coach Scott Abell] and his staff have cultivated since they got here. It’s an environment that is player first, that emphasizes winning, but certainly not at the expense of the player experience.’

Does Briggs still sport that sweet handlebar mustache?

Unfortunately, the handlebar mustache is no more. I understand this news may be devastating for some of you to hear. Even worse, Briggs only actually sported the mustache for about 36 hours for picture day. After that, it was gone.

‘Usually I’m rocking a full beard,’ said Briggs. ‘When photo day comes around though, it’s time to go all out. I get a little handlebar, maybe some sideburn action, whatever the day is calling for.’

I warned Briggs how disappointing this enlightenment would be for our readers. Briggs told me I could leave that part of the article out, but I respect my journalistic integrity too much to leave out that heart-wrenching detail.

What Bible verse did Briggs put in his post?

Acts 2:15 – ‘These people are not drunk, as some of you are assuming. Nine o’clock in the morning is much too early for that.’

Clearly, one of the most powerful Bible verses of all-time.

Offensive linemen are stereotypically some of the rowdiest individuals in football. They also tend to be some of the heaviest drinkers. Look no further than Green Bay Packers left tackle and three-time first-team All-Pro David Bakhtiari.

When asked what about the culture surrounding the positions on the offensive line promotes such party animal behavior, Briggs claimed ‘People just usually associate the fat kids with being funny. And sometimes, I guess being funny just goes hand in hand with being the loudest guy in the room.’

Briggs is clearly a funny individual. Based on his NFL draft declaration letter, it might his strongest case to make an NFL roster. Every team needs a glue guy, someone who can keep the team in high spirits during low moments. Briggs can bring that to the table. He’s made his pitch. Your move, NFL. You know what to do.