College football grades: Michigan misses mark crying about Harbaugh

Welcome to the college football Week 11 grades. We can’t say if there was any spying, but there was crying, and the national title picture got a little clearer during another wild Saturday.

The same thing goes as far as grading from last season: High marks will be only for the spectacular, and failing grades have no chance of being reversed.

Here is the Week 11 analysis of how fans, teams, players and coaches fared: 

Michigan football being overdramatic? Bet

Give it up to the Michigan Wolverines. They went into a hostile environment at Penn State, in front of 110,856 mostly white-shirted fans, and came away with a 24-15 victory to keep their playoff hopes intact. If you have been living under a rock, this comes amid the backdrop of the Big Ten Conference suspending Michigan head coach Jim Harbaugh while it investigates allegations of illicit sign-stealing by the program.

To emphasize their season-long delusion of being disrespected, team members wore ‘Michigan vs. Everybody’ shirts for the flight to Happy Valley. The ‘everyone’ in this case is the Big Ten, or whoever is complaining about Michigan’s alleged cheating.

But nothing tops the absurd comments made after the win, headlined by this bit of eloquence from interim head coach Sherrone Moore:

‘I want to thank the Lord, I want to thank Coach Harbaugh,’ Moore said. ‘(Expletive) love you, man. I love the (expletive) out of you, man. Did this for you. For this university, the president, our AD. We got the best players, best university, best alumni in the country.

‘Love you guys. These (expletive) guys right here,’ Moore continued. ‘These guys right here, man. These guys did it. These guys did it, man.’

(You can watch the expletive-filled interview below.)

Uh, OK. Be emotional. Fine. But remind us, again, why Harbaugh wasn’t on the sideline for this game?

So, please, go somewhere else with the ‘everyone is against us’ nonsense. Better yet, if you are that pissed off about a lack of ‘due process,’ take your ball and go home and leave the Big Ten.

96 Tears: F

LSU becomes newest member of the 700 (yard) club

LSU had 701 yards of total offense (372 passing, 329 rushing) in a 52-35 victory against Florida.

The Tigers are the sixth FBS team to gain more than 700 yards in a game this season;

The other five:

UCF (723) vs. Kent StateOregon (719) vs. Portland StateWashington State (718) vs. Northern ColoradoWashington (713) vs. Michigan StateOle Miss (706) vs. LSU

Run it up; A+

The worst and best of the rest

That’s what you get:

This week’s OBJ tributes:

Garrett Shrader: Olympic hopeful:

A Benjamin to the house:

Just like they drew it up:

Keep on truckin’:

Head without a swivel:

Stats for you

1: Wins for head coach James Franklin against Top 5 opponents while at Penn State.

8: Total touchdowns for Oklahoma quarterback Dillon Gabriel against West Virginia (5 passing, 3 rushing).

14: Consecutive road games lost by Northwestern before the Wildcats beat Wisconsin at Camp Randall Stadium.

32: Rushing attempts in a row in the second half by Michigan against Penn State.

507: Passing yards by Illinois quarterback John Paddock in a 48-45 overtime win over Indiana. Paddock’s passing total is the second-highest in FBS this season.

606: Total yards for LSU quarterback Jayden Daniels. Daniels became the first player in FBS history to throw for at least 350 yards and rush for 200 yards in a single game. Malik Cunningham of Louisville in 2021 and Washington’s Marques Tuiasosopo in 1999 both accomplished the 300/200 feat.

The Dog of the Week

Oklahoma State at UCF

Now to the game:

Because going to Iowa City for another embarrassing display of football would have been too easy (Iowa did beat Rutgers 22-0), the hounds took their chew toys and treats to Orlando for a day in the rain to watch Oklahoma State and Central Florida.

Usually, when a game is featured in this space, one team shows up to play and dominates and the other doesn’t bother getting off the bus to compete. The latter applies to the No. 17 Cowboys, who did all their talking and goalpost snatching after the Bedlam victory over Oklahoma last week only to muddle up the race for a Big 12 title game berth by getting blown out 45-3.

The nation’s leading rusher, Oklahoma State’s Ollie Gordon, was held to 25 yards on 12 carries and got relegated to decoy duty after the result was well in hand. The pups got a little wet, but are pleased to witness another blowout in a season filled with them.